I'm in no way rich, I have basic Topman clothes that I mostly bought on Ebay, but I have a simple collection of good clothes, and can remember 90% of what I own. Today I opted for a red shirt, as the weather seemed cold and cloudy and I feel the incessant need to try and defy the weather and all that comes with it. However, no shirt could be found. Nor was it in the wash. Nor was it in the ironing pile, and most things tend to be in the ironing pile as nothing ever gets ironed, so my shirt was probably taking its chances between my families never worn clothes, two cats and Bin Laden for all we know.
It was, in fact, nowhere. I live on a boat, there's only so much room to put clothes. My mother has all the signs of madness but has never once thought to use her sons clothes as a flag or duck food or a turban (assumed for Bin Laden I suppose), so hasn't done anything strange with it. But, this idea of clothes disappearing isn't the first case, I have two T shirts I've not seen in months for no apparent reason, and clothes is only the tip of the iceberg as to where the hell half my possessions go.
I'm getting the feeling that aliens steal our random objects and implant into our brains this idea that we simply 'lost' our items, as it's the one case where we use no logic at all. Item A was in Room B, it is no longer in Room B so it is lost, we shall use Item C. Where is our questioning as to where on earth it has gone, thieves are petty but I have a big TV and a laptop in this room, I doubt they want my shirt or any item that people 'lose', that's not the definition of crimes in fashion.
No hard feelings though, if you ever do see E.T. and co swanning around a crop circle in a red chequered shirt, compliment his fashion taste. It's a good shirt.
Thanks Ebay.
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